I don’t know who did this, why they did it, or how you’d even think up such a ridiculously crazy killing tool, but this is the most awesome weapon I have ever seen. If I were in a knife fight and someone came at me with this thing, I’d probably crap myself (Note: I have never been in a knife fight, nor do I ever intend to be).

I saw this elsewhere on the ‘net and absolutely had to share it here. Click to see the full sized picture.

I heard this on the radio the other day and for the first time I was really able to grasp the difference between one million dollars, one billion dollars, and one trillion dollars.

According to the AP, Fox has officially cancelled Dollhouse. If you, like myself, are a big fan of just about everything Joss Whedon has ever done, then you are distraught at this news. Sure we all saw it coming after the cancellation of The Sarah Connor Chronicles, but it is still sad. Reports are saying that they will finish out this season and Joss is promising a big finale, but it will be a finale none-the-less. Lets just hope his new project comes sooner rather than later and he has the foresight to market it to a cable channel that will treat his shows the way they deserve, such as SyFy or USA. Until then, we’ll have to once again live without a Joss Whedon show on TV.

Joss, if you are for some reason gracing my blog with your presence, might I suggest yet another Buffyverse spin-off and turning Fray in to a series? The comic itself would make a fantastic two-part pilot and there are endless options from there for what you can do with a future slayer.

As of this post right here, I have decided to split off a big part of Chai Life in to it’s own website. Henceforth, all Apple-related posts that I have to make will be at a brand new website called The Apple Vine. Click the link below to find an ever-growing resource for the latest Apple news, reviews, tips, tricks, and rumors. I hope you check it out, bookmark it, and enjoy it.

Public enemy number one of the financial crisis, Bernard Madoff, is locked up in a federal prison in Butner, N.C. Although his punishment may not bring relief (or money) to those he scammed, there is a little more icing on the cake. The New York Post is reporting that fellow inmates are looking to rough him up a bit to beef up their reputation. According to a source for Post who has a relative locked up with Madoff, “Some of the guys were talking about smacking him around a little, just to get the notoriety of it.” Sadly, the flip side to the story is that not everyone in lock-up with him feels this way. Apparently, many view him as a stand-up guy for pleading guilty and not implicating anyone else. “He got a lot of respect from other inmates because he didn’t tell on anybody, he didn’t take everybody down with him,” the aforementioned source said. Regardless, he’s got it coming. I hope he and his cohorts enjoyed their years of living off the trust and fortunes of others, because for as long as a written history will be kept of this recession, he will be remembered as the scum he is.

Global warming, climate change, whatever the current politically correct term for it is, we’ve been hearing about the consequences for quite some time now. Melting polar ice caps leading to everything from submerged cities to mass extinctions. There have been some horrible predictions of what might happen if the world doesn’t change it’s polluting habits, but none of them prepared me for the news that national geographic just dumped in my lap. Assuming you read the title of this post correctly, you already know where I’m going with this. Some Danish scientists have spent the last decade studying a species of wolf spider (Pardosa glacialis) native to northeastern Greenland. They learned something that, at least in my overactive imagination, is deeply disturbing. They’re growing larger. As the summer season slowly extends, they are able to hunt for longer which, in turn, gives them what they need to grow bigger. The larger spiders also produce more offspring, which leads to a new generation to grow larger and produce even more offspring. Afraid of giant arachnids yet? No? Well, here’s the kicker: As if it wasn’t enough that these things are growing larger and growing in population, at the end of the ten year study, their exoskeletons had increased in thickness by about 2%. Sure doesn’t sound like a lot, but I’ve seen Arachnophobia enough times to know that this won’t end well. So, on top of all of the other things we can blame on global warming, now we can add larger, more populous, harder to squish spiders to the list.

Dear Abby,

I’ll admit it. I read your column at least a few times a week. I even enjoy reading it most of the time. To be fair, it is simply because you are on the same page as the comics in the Journal Sentinel, but I digress. I’ve been reading your column for a few years now and I’ve noticed a trend that gets under my skin. You often respond to letters from children aged between about 8-13. I don’t doubt that you receive letters from this age group, but I’m skeptical that they are anywhere close what you actually publish. Every single letter you post is written in perfect college-level English and seems to bring up a specific discussion point for you that just so happens to coincide with issues that clearly matter to you. Drugs, alcohol, underage sex, and child abuse all come to mind. There is no question that these are valid and important issues, but to publish what are clearly fake or heavily altered letters to make that point, in my humble opinion, violates journalistic ethics. Having once been that age, I can speak with confidence that the likelihood of a tween using multi-syllable high level words, correct grammar, and sociopolitical driven talking points is just about zero. I obviously would expect you to correct simple grammar and spelling mistakes before publishing a letter, however if you’re altering a letter to the point where everything about it is at a level 10+ years above the writer, don’t you think you should acknowledge that? I think I can speak for at least some of your readers when I say that I would enjoy reading it more and would certainly find it more believable if these letters actually read like they were written by a tween.

Sincerely,
Not Buying the Bull

I left work during the Brewer’s home opener today and was listening to the game on the radio on my way. When I got home, I figured surely it would be on TV… it’s the home opener! I turned on my TV, changed it to the channel that had the Brewers game listed, and selected it. Now what am I watching instead of the game? A black screen with plain white text reading “FCC Rules mandate that this program be blacked out in your area.”

What. The. Fuck.

So I try to stream AM 620 over the ‘net. Here’s the message on their website: “SPORTS TEAMS RETAIN THEIR OWN INTERNET AUDIO STREAMING RIGHTS. We are not able to stream any sports play-by-play broadcasts. That means you will not be able to hear any Brewers, Bucks, Packers or Badgers games through this site.” That’s bullshit. If I had a radio, I could listen to it, but if I try to stream the exact same broadcast over the Internet, it’s illegal? This licensing crap has gone too far. All I wanted to do was watch my team’s home opener when I got home from work, but instead the MLB would rather lose me entirely as a viewer for the day.

NOTE: No, I didn’t do this, but I find it worthy of spreading around the Internet. If you look closely, the author’s link is at the top of the image.