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DISCLAIMER: For those of you that are a bit slow, this is a joke! Apparently, the creator of the video has been getting some hilarious responses from people wondering when it will be available in the app store.

Calling the Public Option a “hot” issue has a new meaning…

For 364 days out of the year, you’re a pretty decent human being. But for just one day, be it for a random costume party or for Halloween, you’ve decided to be a douchebag. The following guide will help you along your way to becoming the douchiest douchbag you can possibly be.

• Spray-On Tan
  Having a tan is vital to the appearance of any douchebag. Having a tacky spray-on tan is really just taking it to the next level. You probably don’t have to do your whole body to complete the costume, just your face, neck, and arms should be fine. Be sure to wear some sort of goggles while applying it to your head. In part, this is to ensure that you don’t get any in your eyes, as I’m sure that would hurt like hell, but mostly it’s so that the pale-white skin around your eyes and over your nose makes you look as douchey as you can. Don’t worry, you’ll only look ridiculous at work for “up to 5 days” after you wear the costume.
• Spiked Hair
  What goes better with a spray-on tan than spiked back hair? Nothing, that’s what. You’ve really got two options for this one. For those with uncooperative hair, much like myself, you might prefer to go with the ever-classy orange spiked hair wig, which should really go well with your new skin color. For those of you with hair that will do what you want, some firm hold styling gel should do the trick. When you think you’ve used enough of it to hold your hair in place for the night, add even more.
• Pastel-Colored Polo Shirts
  This part is extremely easy to follow: Buy at least two of the pastel-colored polo shirts I linked to above, all in different colors. Wear them all at once. Pop all of the collars up. You are now wearing your shirts the way only a true douchebag would.
• Khakis
  Pretty much any khaki pants will work just fine, so wear whatever is comfortable. More than likely you’ve already got a pair sitting around.
• Bling
  Every douchebag needs his bling. I’d recommend at least one of each of the following, the tackier the better: a gold necklace, a gold bracelet or watch, and a gold pinky ring. If you already own any of these that you think would work, great, otherwise just buy something cheap and fake from the links I offered or just head to your local flea market.

There you have it! Yet another DIY costume courtesy of Chai Life! I hope you’ve enjoyed it and if you do choose to be a douchebag for Halloween this year, I hope your friends find it as amusing as I would.

For those of you who already know Ishtar, you probably are already aware of her awesomeness. Well, you can add yet another reason to the list. For about two days now, we’ve had a cricket in our basement. I’ve tried to find it, but was unable to. It was being exceptionally loud tonight when Ishtar decided to quietly slink out of the living room. A few minutes later, she reappeared in the doorway, howled, and I stood up assuming she was about to retch. In the process however, she opened her mouth, dropped a cricket on the floor and proceeded to proudly play with it in front of us. After a few minutes of her torturing the poor thing, I finally put it out of its misery. Thanks to Ishtar, there will be no more cricket noises coming up through the vents while I’m trying to sleep tonight.

There are lots of completely tasteless rally pictures floating around the Internet from this past weekend’s teabagging rally promoted by the ever-tasteful Glenn Beck. I’m not really sure what the actual purpose of his rally was, other than to breed fear, hatred, and racism, but it appears to be an underwhelming failure to the point where FreedomWorks, the political group who organized the event, felt the need to lie about the attendance. Regardless of whatever they may think they have accomplished, here are some of the better pictures of the general intelligence level of the attendees:

In the clip you’re about to watch, Glenn Beck finally admits something that we all already knew about him: He’s a dirtbag and a liar. Sadly, for some reason he felt the need to refer to himself as a dirtbag in the past tense, but it’s still funny. Here’s the clip.

As you may already have been aware, 20th Century Fox was attempting to kill Futurama – again – by recasting the voice talent. Petitions were circulated, people were upset, the Internets were in an uproar, and for the second time in recent memory (the first being renewing the show) Fox made the wise decision. News sources all over the ‘net are reporting that Futurama has been saved – again. The network and the original voice cast have reached an agreement and they have signed a new contract. Now we just have to wait for new episodes to air in mid-2010 with their former voice acting goodness.

It has been brought to my attention that the powers that be are looking in to recasting Futurama. This is unacceptable. Very seldom in the history of television has this worked out to the benefit of a show (be it voice actors or live actors) and this would not be one of those times. The voice talents of Billy West, Katey Sagal, John Di Maggio, Tress MacNeille, Maurice LaMarche, Phil LaMarr, and Lauren Tom are vital to the series and it would not be Futurama without them.

If you agree with me, please take 30 seconds of your life to sign the following two petitions and share them with your friends:

http://www.petitiononline.com/futura13/petition.html
http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/futuramarecast/

If you haven’t seen this yet, you should. He makes nerds everywhere proud. It’s long, but you’ll be laughing the whole time.

In honor of Futurama being officially renewed, I have decided to break down exactly what you need to get, from head to toe, so you can be unfrozen in the proper attire for a year 3000 Halloween party.

• Orange Hair
  Fry’s most noticeable feature, and probably the trickiest part of the costume, is his hair. Unless you happen to naturally have a unique shade of fluorescent orange hair, you’ll probably want to pick up the above linked hairspray to help out. My suggestion would be to style your hair with heavy styling mousse (unless of course you make your own), to get a nice large wave in the front, let it harden, and spray the hell out of it with the can of orange hairspray. Note: Some of you may not quite have enough hair to do this, but don’t worry, some brushing and styling done to this wig should do the trick!
• A White T-Shirt
  It doesn’t get more basic than a plain white tagless (may as well be comfortable, too!) Hanes t-shirt. I’m sure Fry has more than one, or he’d likely make Zoidberg smell clean in comparison.
• Red Windbreaker
  He’s got it on in every episode, so it must be a pretty nice jacket. The jacket I linked to above is just about a perfect fit and, just like about every other part of this costume (save maybe the hairspray) will fit in to your wardrobe flawlessly after it’s use in the costume. Wear it, keep it unzipped, stay warm.
  Note: It looks like the Dickies Windbreaker I originally linked to is no longer available. I’ve updated the link above with a similar Jacket that will work just as well. In addition, American Apparel offers a cheaper, but less-exact Nylon Windbreaker.
• Light Blue Jeans
  Pretty much any jeans will do as long as it’s a light blue color. You’re going to spend the whole party in them and will probably want to wear them more than once, so make sure they’re comfortable.
• Black Low Top Shoes
  I don’t know that it’s ever been truly revealed, but Fry’s shoes have got to be based of a classic pair of black Converse low tops. If you’re really anal about it, lace them up using the straight easy lacing method.
• Accessories
  What, you thought you just needed the clothes, the hair, and that’s it? No way, mister! You’re going to need some accessories to go with that costume. First and foremost, you should work hard at developing a nice healthy addiction to Slurm. You’re also certainly going to need a space ship for your new job as an intergalactic delivery boy. Last, but certainly not least, you’re going to need to dump your old friends and embrace your new best friend, Bender Bending Rodriquez.

There you have it! Everything you need to show up to your next costume party as everyone’s favorite unfrozen fool from the stupid ages, Philip J. Fry.